Thursday 1 July 2010

7 Proven Ways You Can Catch a Cheating Lover

By W. Aris

If an outsider attacked your lover, would you stop him? Would you defend yourself and your spouse against an attack?

A cheating lover who breaks a promise to be faithful is literally attacking your relationship. If you suspect this is happening, you owe it to your love to defend it. Otherwise you will either never really be able to trust your mate, or you won't even realize that you've been a sap until your partner walks out the door...forever.

If you're worried that your mate is cheating, keep your head together and start collecting evidence. Whatever you do, don't let your partner know you suspect until you have some good, solid facts to back up your suspicions. A cheating lover, backed into a corner, usually finds an excuse to leave the relationship precipitously. And a faithful lover does not need to ever know there was suspicion.

Here are seven proven, tried-and-true ways you can catch a cheating lover:

1) The single biggest tip-off is in sudden behavior changes that continue sporadically. A work routine that has changed, such as staying late at the office or long lunches could be a tell-tale clue. Call him, just to see if he's there. Even drop in on him, once you suspect him, at the office, bringing some cookies or a present for an excuse.

2) Does she pick on you, looking for things to criticize? This may mean she's building a case to justify leaving the relationship for good. Does she create a fight then leave the house in a huff and stay away for hours? Warning!

3) Are there changes in his appearance? Does he take more interest in it, dressing better and being more careful with grooming in general? Has his style of dress gone from conservative to, say, Mobster Mannequin or Lounge Lizard? Time to open your eyes... and keep them open.

4) Does she seem to suddenly get a lot of cell phone calls she avoids taking in your presence? It's probably the other man.

5) Is he suddenly going out with his male friends, supposedly? Ask him where he's going, and go there to check. But be surreptitious; stay in the shadows!

6) These days, there are lots of high-tech gadgets and methods for capturing an adulterer. You can actually track every keystroke in a computer, for example, every call on a cell phone... and you can do these things without a trace. Installing spy-cams is an option, or hiring a private detective.

7) Have you noticed an abrupt and lasting change in your sex life? Is he holding out on you physically? Do you find his excuses downright lame? This is red-flag time.

A monogamous relationship is a serious commitment and accusing a partner of adultery is a serious charge. An open mind, balance and neutrality are the watchwords.

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